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VHS Parents Pages-Vape Take Back Day

Posted: January 3, 2020 | Entry Type: Post

January 3, 2020

Happy New Year! Here’s an opportunity for some of our kids to make good on their New Year’s resolutions –

Next week, January 6-10, we will be running a program entitled Vape Take Back Week. Recently this program was run at North Hunterdon with a resounding success. Here’s the deal: From next Monday through Thursday, the program will be promoted to students indicating that on Friday there will be a confidential collection site with no school staff, no observation, and no consequences. In addition, incentives – gift cards and entry in a raffle – will be included in the promotion.

The collection room will be staffed by personnel from Prevention Resources https://njprevent.com/, a local organization we have worked with for years, whose mission is drug and alcohol abuse prevention. They have sent along this resource for you to begin the process: https://njprevent.com/whatsinyourvape/

Our Administration has approved the plan and would assure parents and students alike that they can rely on the secure commitment to anonymity and moratorium on consequences for students who bring devices to school in order to turn them in at this event.

We know that many kids who vape would like to quit and that an event like this can add just the right amount of incentive for some to make the move. At North Hunterdon this past November, the following were collected:

59 vape devices
15 bottles of e-juice
4 chargers
82 pods
- See the attached photo –

If you are not that familiar with the available technology and variety of devices, you can watch the following video from Bedford High School in Massachusetts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhoRSSaZJes

I hope you will partner with us by encouraging your child to give up this dangerous habit and to turn in their vaping equipment with no strings attached.

As always, your comments or questions are welcome.

Regards,

Jeffrey M. Hunt, LCADC, LPC

Student Assistance Coordinator

Municipal Alliance Chairperson

Voorhees High School

(908) 638-2175

https://mediazilla.com/Ipo9ke4X0

VHS Parents Pages-Holidays and Drunk Driving

Posted: December 18, 2019 | Entry Type: Post

December 18, 2019

During the holidays, there is an unfortunate increase in drunk driving accidents and fatalities around the nation. In fact, according to Transportation.gov, “ Every holiday season, hundreds of lives are lost due to drunk drivers. Nationally, over the past 5 years, an average of 300 people died in drunk driving crashes the week between Christmas and New Year. Alcohol-impaired fatalities make up more than a quarter of all crash fatalities. In 2016, 781 people lost their lives in drunk-driving-related crashes in the month of December alone.”

This week, members of our Students Against Destructive Driving Club are making presentations in Junior and Senior Health classes on this topic. As part of their presentation, SADD members are showing a mini-documentary entitled “Casey” that was a student-produced project in 2018-19. The film was sent to all parents last year with our administration’s approval, but if you never saw it, please view video through the link below and feel free to watch it with your children, especially those who are driving, or close to it. FYI, this documentary is also being used throughout Hunterdon County by Prevention Resources, an agency that specializes in substance abuse prevention in schools.

As always, your comments or questions are welcome.

…and HAPPY HOLIDAYS to ALL!!!

Regards,

Jeffrey M. Hunt, LCADC, LPC

Student Assistance Coordinator

Municipal Alliance Chairperson

Voorhees High School

(908) 638-2175

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/12/health/vaping-double-lung-transplant.html?action=click&module=News&pgtype=Homepage

Parents Pages – Effects of Vaping

Posted: November 13, 2019 | Entry Type: Post

November 13, 2019

The following article appeared in the New York Times yesterday and provides more shocking evidence of the effects of vaping on young lungs.

Tomorrow evening (November 14th) there will be a Community Health and Wellness presentation on Vaping at North Hunterdon High School at 7:00 PM in the theater. We hope to see you there!

Regards,

Jeffrey M. Hunt, LCADC, LPC

Student Assistance Coordinator

Municipal Alliance Chairperson

Voorhees High School

Anxiety and Stress in Teens-How to Help Presentation.pdf

(908) 638-2175

VHS Parents Pages – Anxiety and Stress in Teens

Posted: November 5, 2019 | Entry Type: Post

November 5, 2019

For those of you who didn’t make it to our last Community Health and Wellness Education Series, I’m attaching a copy of the presentation (see link below) given by George Scott of the NJ Traumatic Loss Coalition. Mr. Scott spoke on the subject of helping your kids with stress and anxiety and was a great presenter as always. The program had a special focus on positive aspects of parenting strategies and their effects on children; by contrast, the effects of unhealthy environments on childhood development are clearly illustrated in the slides on the ACES scale – as you will see, the impact of adverse childhood experiences has a direct correlation to physiological illness in adult years among other effects.

I hope you will review the presentation and learn some ways to make your kids’ experience more positive and to encourage resilience, and as a result help them to develop a more healthy and productive life.

As always, your comments or questions are welcome.

Regards,

Jeffrey M. Hunt, LCADC, LPC

Student Assistance Coordinator

Municipal Alliance Chairperson

Voorhees High School

(908) 638-2175

NHHS Parents Pages – Depression

Posted: October 16, 2019 | Entry Type: Post

October 16, 2019

October is Depression Awareness Month. Over the years, we have seen an increase in the number of teens and adolescents that are feeling sad, empty and hopeless. These feelings can manifest in many different ways: crying more often, increased volatility, change in friends, lack of interest in things they used to love doing…the list goes on and on. This is why education on depression is very important. Some may view these changes as normal teen angst and just tell them to “get over it”, but many times it is much more complicated than that. Depression can happen at any age but symptoms often begin in the teen years. According to statistics collected by the National Institute on Mental Health, an estimated 3.2 million adolescents aged 12 to 17 in the United States had at least one major depressive episode in the past year (2017 data). This number represented 13.3% of the U.S. population aged 12 to 17. Please read the information below that was taken from the National Institue on Mental Health resource center. Click here for a pamphlet specific to teen depression.

If you know of a teen who needs help or supports, please reach out to me or one of the school counselors. The North Hunterdon High School Guidance Department offers a variety of supports (individual or group supports) to students in need of assistance and can also help with outside referrals.

Tara Kraatz

Student Assistance Counselor

908-713-4167

Depression Basics

Introduction

Do you feel sad, empty, and hopeless most of the day, nearly every day? Have you lost interest or pleasure in your hobbies or being with friends and family? Are you having trouble sleeping, eating, and functioning? If you have felt this way for at least 2 weeks, you may have depression, a serious but treatable mood disorder.

What is depression?

Everyone feels sad or low sometimes, but these feelings usually pass with a little time. Depression—also called “clinical depression” or a “depressive disorder”—is a mood disorder that causes distressing symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities, such as sleeping, eating, or working. To be diagnosed with depression, symptoms must be present most of the day, nearly every day for at least 2 weeks.

What are the different types of depression?

Two of the most common forms of depression are:

· Major depression—having symptoms of depression most of the day, nearly every day for at least 2 weeks that interfere with your ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy life. An episode can occur only once in a person’s lifetime, but more often, a person has several episodes.

· Persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia)—having symptoms of depression that last for at least 2 years. A person diagnosed with this form of depression may have episodes of major depression along with periods of less severe symptoms.

Some forms of depression are slightly different, or they may develop under unique circumstances, such as:

· Perinatal Depression: Women with perinatal depression experience full-blown major depression during pregnancy or after delivery (postpartum depression).

· Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): SAD is a type of depression that comes and goes with the seasons, typically starting in the late fall and early winter and going away during the spring and summer.

· Psychotic Depression: This type of depression occurs when a person has severe depression plus some form of psychosis, such as having disturbing false fixed beliefs (delusions) or hearing or seeing upsetting things that others cannot hear or see (hallucinations).

Other examples of depressive disorders include disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (diagnosed in children and adolescents) and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Depression can also be one phase of bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depression). But a person with bipolar disorder also experiences extreme high—euphoric or irritable —moods called “mania” or a less severe form called “hypomania.”

You can learn more about these disorders on the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)’s website (www.nimh.nih.gov).

What causes depression?

Scientists at NIMH and across the country are studying the causes of depression. Research suggests that a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors play a role in depression.

Depression can occur along with other serious illnesses, such as diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and Parkinson’s disease. Depression can make these conditions worse and vice versa. Sometimes medications taken for these illnesses may cause side effects that contribute to depression symptoms. For more information on ongoing research on depression, visit www.nimh.nih.gov.

What are the signs and symptoms of depression?

Sadness is only one small part of depression and some people with depression may not feel sadness at all. Different people have different symptoms. Some symptoms of depression include:

· Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood

· Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

· Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

· Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities

· Decreased energy, fatigue, or being “slowed down”

· Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions

· Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping

· Appetite and/or weight changes

· Thoughts of death or suicide or suicide attempts

· Restlessness or irritability

· Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment

Does depression look the same in everyone?

No. Depression affects different people in different ways. For example:

Women have depression more often than men. Biological, lifecycle, and hormonal factors that are unique to women may be linked to their higher depression rate. Women with depression typically have symptoms of sadness, worthlessness, and guilt.

Men with depression are more likely to be very tired, irritable, and sometimes angry. They may lose interest in work or activities they once enjoyed, have sleep problems, and behave recklessly, including the misuse of drugs or alcohol. Many men do not recognize their depression and fail to seek help.

Older adults with depression may have less obvious symptoms, or they may be less likely to admit to feelings of sadness or grief. They are also more likely to have medical conditions, such as heart disease, which may cause or contribute to depression.

Younger children with depression may pretend to be sick, refuse to go to school, cling to a parent, or worry that a parent may die.

Older children and teens with depression may get into trouble at school, sulk, and be irritable. Teens with depression may have symptoms of other disorders, such as anxiety, eating disorders, or substance abuse.

How is depression treated?

The first step in getting the right treatment is to visit a health care provider or mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist. Your health care provider can do an exam, interview, and lab tests to rule out other health conditions that may have the same symptoms as depression. Once diagnosed, depression can be treated with medications, psychotherapy, or a combination of the two. If these treatments do not reduce symptoms, brain stimulation therapy may be another treatment option to explore.

Medications

Medications called antidepressants can work well to treat depression. They can take 2 to 4 weeks to work. Antidepressants can have side effects, but many side effects may lessen over time. Talk to your health care provider about any side effects that you have. Do not stop taking your antidepressant without first talking to your health care provider.

Please Note: Although antidepressants can be effective for many people, they may present serious risks to some, especially children, teens, and young adults. Antidepressants may cause some people, especially those who become agitated when they first start taking the medication and before it begins to work, to have suicidal thoughts or make suicide attempts. Anyone taking antidepressants should be monitored closely, especially when they first start taking them. For most people, though, the risks of untreated depression far outweigh those of antidepressant medications when they are used under a doctor’s careful supervision.

Information about medications changes frequently. Visit the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) website for the latest warnings, patient medication guides, or newly approved medications.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy helps by teaching new ways of thinking and behaving, and changing habits that may be contributing to depression. Therapy can help you understand and work through difficult relationships or situations that may be causing your depression or making it worse.

Brain Stimulation Therapies

Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) and other brain stimulation therapies may be an option for people with severe depression who do not respond to antidepressant medications. ECT is the best studied brain stimulation therapy and has the longest history of use. Other stimulation therapies discussed here are newer, and in some cases still experimental methods.

How can I help myself if I am depressed?

As you continue treatment, you may start to feel better gradually. Remember that if you are taking an antidepressant, it may take 2 to 4 weeks to start working. Try to do things that you used to enjoy. Go easy on yourself. Other things that may help include:

· Trying to be active and exercise

· Breaking up large tasks into small ones, set priorities, and do what you can as you can

· Spending time with other people and confide in a trusted friend or relative

· Postponing important life decisions until you feel better. Discuss decisions with others who know you well

· Avoiding self-medication with alcohol or with drugs not prescribed for you

How can I help a loved one who is depressed?

If you know someone who has depression, first help him or her see a health care provider or mental health professional. You can also:

· Offer support, understanding, patience, and encouragement

· Never ignore comments about suicide, and report them to your loved one’s health care provider or therapist

· Invite him or her out for walks, outings, and other activities

· Help him or her adhere to the treatment plan, such as setting reminders to take prescribed medications

· Help him or her by ensuring that he or she has transportation to therapy appointments

· Remind him or her that, with time and treatment, the depression will lift

Where can I go for help?

If you are unsure where to go for help, ask your health provider or check out the NIMH Help for Mental Illnesses webpage at www.nimh.nih.gov/findhelp. Another Federal health agency, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), maintains an online Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator at https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/. You can also check online for mental health professionals; contact your community health center, local mental health association, or insurance plan to find a mental health professional. Hospital doctors can help in an emergency.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, get help quickly.

· Call your or your loved one’s health professional.

· Call 911 for emergency services.

· Go to the nearest hospital emergency room.

· Call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255); TYY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)

Resources:

National Institute of Mental Health

Sincerely,

Tara Kraatz

Student Assistance Counselor

Anti-Bullying Specialist

North Hunterdon High School

1445 Rt. 31

Annandale, NJ 08801

908-713-4167

VHS Parents Pages – Dating Violence

Posted: October 15, 2019 | Entry Type: Post

October 15, 2019

October is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Please avail yourself of the following information from a blog “Defend Innocence” https://defendinnocence.org/.

TEEN DATING VIOLENCE IS ON THE RISE: WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

Dating violence is any form of abuse that takes place in a relationship including physical, sexual, mental, or emotional abuse. For teenagers, it has become a widespread problem that has serious effects on a developing teen.

A study done by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that, “Of U.S. students who said they were dating, 21 percent of girls and 10 percent of boys said they had been victims of physical and sexual violence from a dating partner in the last 12 months.” In some communities, the numbers are even worse.

With teens becoming romantic at such a young age, as young as 12 and 13 years old, it is imperative for you to discuss healthy relationships with your teen early and often.

To help, here are 5 things you can do to help reduce the likelihood that your teen will experience any form of dating abuse:

Define a healthy relationship

Helping your teen understand what a healthy relationship is will help them set their own standards for dating. Of course, you want those standards to be high. Discussing healthy relationship habits will give them the idea of the kind of person they want to date. According to Dr. Doug Haddad, there are three important components that make a healthy relationship. They are:

Communication: In a healthy relationship, each partner feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings without being fearful or made to feel guilty or fear of being slapped.
Compromise: Every relationship experiences disagreements. In healthy relationships, both parties look to find common ground and try to find a solution to the problem in a peaceful manner.
Care: Caring for someone is respecting that person enough to be compassionate and supportive of that person. It is offering encouragement to build each other up rather than looking to put each other down.

All three of these components work together to create a healthy relationship. Discuss with your teen often about what makes a healthy relationship. Be sure to show them good and bad examples through the media and real life.

Be an Example

Better than discussing with your teen about healthy relationships is showing them what a healthy relationship looks like. Let your relationships be an example. If you are a single parent, show them through your own dating decisions what is healthy.

Our actions always ring louder than our words. Be the example they need. Many times children end up dating the same kind of people their parents do.

Monitor Social Media

The majority of a teenager’s social life takes place online. Several romantic relationships begin online well before they begin in the real world. Take an active role in your child’s social media use.

Know the social media platforms that your teen uses. Use the same platforms yourself. Being active on social media will give you a good look at your teen’s life. It will also keep you in touch with relevant subjects and events that can provide great examples of what is and isn’t healthy.

Pay Attention

As a parent, it is important that you are always on alert. Get to know every boyfriend/girlfriend your teen dates. Have them over at your home, let them join in on family activities.

Also, pay attention to any signs of abuse. Some of the common signs are responding quickly and frantically to texts or calls from their partner, frequently crying as a result of relationship problems, making excuses for inappropriate behavior, engaging in risky behaviors such as drugs and alcohol use, appearing anxious or depressed, or participating in unsafe sexual acts. These are warning signs that your teen could be in a dangerous relationship, and might need help.

Have an Open Dialogue

Let your teen know they can always confide in you and ask any questions. Look for opportunities to point out examples to them. Teens are always listening even when it seems like they aren’t. Be a listener as well. Listen more than you talk. You will be surprised at what comes up.

Be relatable to your teen. Let them know that you too also faced many of the same things they are facing. Give them specific examples from your life. Let them know when you feel something is awkward or embarrassing. This will help your teen confide in you more.

Raising a teenager is no easy task. In today’s world, it is even harder. The number one thing as a parent and caretaker is to trust your intuition. No one knows your child better than you do. Be present in their lives, and stay on alert. You can be the shield that protects them from abuse.

As always, your comments or questions are welcome.

Regards,

Jeffrey M. Hunt, LCADC, LPC

Student Assistance Coordinator

Municipal Alliance Chairperson

Voorhees High School

(908) 638-2175

VHS Parents Pages – Suicide Prevention Month

Posted: September 27, 2019 | Entry Type: Post

September 27, 2019

It’s still National Suicide Prevention Month.

As I mentioned earlier this month in a newsletter about helping kids safely transition back to school, the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide is an agency that we have worked with since 2009 to assist us in the education of members of the Voorhees community with regards to teen suicide. The Society has provided us with the Lifelines prevention curriculum taught to all students in Freshman year, and again in a review class in Junior year. Lifelines trains all students to recognize the warning signs of suicidal thoughts or behaviors in a friend or fellow student, and to express their concerns to that person of concern as well as to school personnel. Evaluation and referral for services are initiated in this way several times each year.

I’m reprinting a page here from the Society’s web page which you can access at https://www.sptsusa.org/

Not My Kid: What Every Parent Should Know

Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide, Inc.

From the Founders of the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide:

We hope the information below is helpful to you and provides valuable information that we didn’t have before we lost our children to suicide. These questions have all been asked to us by parents – and the answers provided by experts. It is important to be aware of how important it is, for you as parents, to ASK those complicated questions.

And to keep asking them, until you get the answers that help you make educated decisions about your child’s mental health needs. We want to stress the importance of really listening to your kids and looking for any changes in feelings, behaviors, or moods that seem out of character or concern you.

If you seek professional help for them, do some research – and ask that mental health professional those complicated questions so you know what they are recommending and why they are recommending it.

You may not know…but suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth ages 10-24. It is important to note that most kids are generally not in a suicide crisis, however, even if the percentage of kids who may be in this type of crisis is small, it’s essential that we know what to do if we have any concerns abut our children, their friends, or their peers.

An important question is….what can YOU….as a parent do? The Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide wants to address some of your questions about teen suicide. We have found that information and education are essential components of youth suicide prevention. This document will help to clarify some of the misinformation about suicide and provide practical, helpful suggestions that you can use with your kids and their friends.

The following are questions that have been asked by parents just like you.

I hear what you’re saying about suicide being the 2^nd leading cause of death for kids. My son is basically a good kid with normal teenage problems. Are you telling me I need to start worrying that he might kill himself?

Not every child is at risk for suicide but we have known too many parents who felt the way you do – that their kids were just having normal teenage problems, and missed what they later realized were ‘warning signs’ of suicide.

Suicide can happen… it’s a real danger for adolescents. It is important to educate yourself about the things that may signal your child could be at risk. A good way to organize your thinking about youth suicide’s warning signs is the acronym FACTS:

F stands for feelings. Feelings of hopelessness, anger, worthlessness, emptiness, anxiousness, or excessive worry are examples of feelings that should really concern us. Talking about being a burden on the family or being trapped in a horrible place from which they can’t escape should also get our attention.

A indicates actions. Actions include things like trying to get access to a gun or pills, risky or dangerous behaviors, increasing drug or alcohol use, or getting into fights. Bulling someone else or being bullied are also actions of concern. Self-harm behaviors also fit into this category as do looking online for ways to die or hurt one’s self. Your child may suddenly stop going to school or ask to leave school early. Schools have told us that some of the actions they pay attention to during the school day are frequent visits to the school nurse or to the restroom, and problems at lunch or in the cafeteria.

C indicates changes in moods, attitudes or behaviors. For example, kids who were active may become withdrawn, quit athletic teams, stop paying attention to personal appearance, daydream more, or start to cut class. It would be impossible to list all the potential behaviors you might see… so concentrating on simply recognizing changes in your child’s behaviors, from as little as two weeks ago, is the real key.

T shows that some kids “Talk” about suicide or actually make “Threats. These can be specific verbal statements, like “I don’t want to live anymore” or “I’m thinking of killing myself” or worrisome innuendos in text messages, blogs, or school assignments. When these statements or messages aren’t in sync developmentally with your child’s peers, you may want to explore their meaning. For example, for a 7-year-old to be preoccupied with bombs and superheroes is developmentally appropriate; if a 12-year-old shares those same preoccupations, you would be wise to see what’s going on. Whether the statements are specific or vague, what these threats tell us is that a child is thinking about death or suicide – and that’s why we need to be concerned.

S refers to “Situations” that may serve as triggers for a suicide or suicide attempt. These are situations where your child’s coping skills are really challenged… and he or she may not think they have a way out. These can include circumstances like getting into trouble at home, in school, or experiencing the loss of something or someone important like a death, the end of a relationship or something less concrete like the loss of a hope or a dream. Some children are very undone by changes in their environment. Being exposed to the death of a peer or a role model is also a situation you want to talk about. (You’ll find a handout under the ‘parent tab’ that can give you some help with that conversation.)

If you notice anything that makes you concerned… ask your child specifically and directly, especially if you see more than one of these signs. If you hear anything that makes you uneasy, get a consultation from a mental health professional. It’s the same thing you would do if you were worried that your child had a physical problem, this is really no different

Should I talk to my child about suicide? I’m afraid if I bring up suicide that it’s going to plant the idea in his head! Isn’t it better if I don’t say any thing at all?

A lot of people get confused by this. Just like you would want to talk about drug or alcohol use with your child, it’s really important to address the issues of suicide. It’s a myth that talking about suicide can plant the idea in someone’s mind. Kids hear about suicide from a variety of sources and this is nothing new to them. In fact, talking about it can be a real relief. It’s like having a secret you feel no one will want to hear; once you can talk about and expose it to reality, you have a much better chance of figuring out what to do about it.

Are suicidal thoughts a normal part of being a teenager?

Many teens will acknowledge that they’ve had a suicidal thought at one time or another. For example, in a national study conducted every year by the Centers for Disease Control almost 18% of high school students admit to having had thoughts of suicide in the last 12 months. Almost 8% admit to making an attempt. That’s why having that conversation about suicide is so important. If you get any hint that your child may be having these thoughts, it’s essential that you ask them.

For many kids, thoughts about dying remain just that, simply thoughts. In a small percentage of kids, however these thoughts may be accompanied by a plan. That’s an extremely dangerous sign that requires immediate intervention. And again, that’s why it’s so important to ask your child about suicide if you have even the slightest reason for concern.

A classmate of my child recently took his own life. They played soccer together. I’m worried about my child but I don’t know what to say or do.

What you’re describing is an example of what’s called “exposure”, which we talked about under the FACTS. It’s the risk that comes from being exposed to the death of a peer or even a role model. First thing you should do is talk to your child about his classmate’s death. This may feel like a difficult thing to do; however, you can open the door of conversation by telling him how you feel about his classmate’s death – then ask how your child feels. By showing that you’re willing to talk about your feelings first, you model for your child that it’s okay for them to talk about theirs.

Don’t be surprised if the response is “I don’t know” or there is no reaction at all. It can be hard for teens, even for grow-ups, to find words to adequately capture the feelings of grief. Remind your child that there is always an alternative to suicide. Encourage your child to talk to you – or another “trusted adult” if he gets worried about his own thoughts or feelings, or if there is ever concern about a friend.

It is important to find ways to revisit this conversation… because feelings about a friend’s suicide may take a while to settle and don’t go away quickly.

My child’s school counselor suggested I take my child to get some mental health counseling. Apparently he made a comment about life being too hard or complicated or something like that. I’m not even sure exactly what was said. Isn’t the counselor overreacting?

Usually school counselors base these kinds of referrals on their professional experience. This recommendation was most likely developed in response to concerns from your child’s teachers or a conversation the counselor had directly with your child. First, talk to the counselor to find out why she’s concerned. Try not to be defensive. Remember that the school is obviously concerned that something you may not be aware of is going on and that your child may benefit from professional help.

It’s important for you to understand why the counselor is making this referral because you’ll need this information when you speak with a mental health professional. Most mental health agencies will have releases you can sign that give them permission to talk with the school directly. The school’s input can be critical to make sure that your child gets the services needed. It may be helpful to know that those releases only go one way. What that means is that the school has permission to share information with the counselor, but unless you specify, the counselor does not have permission to share information with the school.

My child has a drinking problem and is depressed. The doctor prescribed medication. Why would you give drugs to someone who has a problem with an addiction?

A prescribed antidepressant medication is really different from street drugs or alcohol. Prescribed medications are not designed to create the feeling of being ‘high’. They’re designed to help address your child’s symptoms of depression, anxiety or attention deficit and help them function normally.

I read that antidepressant medication can cause kids to become suicidal. Why in the world would my child’s doctor prescribe it?

There is some research that shows that a small percentage of youth had thoughts about suicide – and some made attempts when on the medication – but studies did not show an increase in youth dying by suicide. For a much larger percentage of kids the medication was helpful. Those kids had at least moderate to severe depression. For kids with milder depression… the drug benefits may not outweigh their risks.

If your child is prescribed medication, it’s important for you and your physician to carefully monitor your child’s behavior as the medication is being introduced or with any adjustments that may occur later. Educate yourself on the ways in which medication helps and also the warning signs of potentially harmful side effects.

It’s also important to encourage your child to tell you if they experience anything out of the ordinary while on the medication, and if so you should contact your physician immediately.

Try and find a good counselor or therapist who can address the issues that led to their child’s depression in the first place. It’s best to combine medication with talk therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy, which has been demonstrated to be effective for kids who are depressed and/or suicidal. Again, if you notice anything unusual or concerning, contact the prescribing physician and the therapist immediately.

My child received a text message from a friend saying she’s thinking about taking her life. What advice do I give my child in this situation?

The first thing to tell your child that you are glad they shared this information with you and that you’ll take care of it from here. Your next step is to pick up the phone and contact this friend’s parents to let them know what’s going on. Wouldn’t you want to be called if it was your child sending the messages?

A suggestion of what to say to the friend’s parents would be: “My child received a disturbing text message from your daughter talking about taking her life and I thought it was important that you know so that you can talk to your daughter about it”. In doing this, you’re also showing your child that you’re there for them when they face difficult situations.

My child just graduated high school and is going away to college. He had problems with anxiety in high school and I’m worried about his transition to college. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for him?

Because transition after high school can be one of those FACTS for some kids, it’s wise for you to be thinking about this ahead of time. College counselors have reported that one of the biggest problems they face is when parents and incoming students see college as a new beginning and want to forget about their previous mental health history. These families tend to minimize the fact that the transition to college itself is stressful and for vulnerable students in particular it can bring up some of the same old feelings and issues that challenged them in the past.

Students with depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, past suicide attempts, or even recent history of loss in the family or exposure to the death of a peer present a higher risk than the general population. Before going off to college it’s important to talk to your child about campus and community mental health resources. Having that information beforehand may help your child and you feel more comfortable that support is available and accessible to help with this transition.

If you have additional concerns… please review the resources we’ve listed for you at the end of this program. You can certainly submit questions to info@sptsusa.org as well. Chances are, if it is on your mind, the information will be helpful for other parents as well.

As always, your comments or questions are welcome.

Regards,

Jeffrey M. Hunt, LCADC, LPC

Student Assistance Coordinator

Municipal Alliance Chairperson

Voorhees High School

(908) 638-2175

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK(8255)

VHS Parents Pages – Suicide Prevention

Posted: September 5, 2019 | Entry Type: Post

September 5, 2019

September is National Suicide Prevention month. Please see the newsletter below, reprinted from the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide. This organization, which we have worked closely with since 2009, is the agency through which we have developed and maintained our Lifelines suicide prevention program. For more information about Voorhees’ Lifelines program, please go to: http://www.nhvweb.net/VHS/Guidance/JHUNT/ and access the parents’ section.

Back to School

Helping Your Child With School Transitions

September is upon us again and as always, it is a time of transition for all! For some kids going back to school alone can be an anxious and scary time, but what if your child is a kindergartner transitioning to school for the first time? Or an eighth grader going on to high school? Or a high school graduate on their way to college? Whether they are transitioning to a new school because of traditional reasons or moving to a new school from another area, change can be very stressful and overwhelming.

How can we as adults and parents help children move through these transitions with the least amount of strife? We can begin by realizing that our approaches depend on the age of the child. With younger children, dealing with a new school or even a new home may trigger them to “act out”. This can look like their withdrawal from social activities or even changes in their diet and sleeping patterns. Transitioning to high school can be equally challenging for different reasons: facing competitive academics, fitting in with peers and trying out for extracurricular activities like athletics, arts or music. College comes with a whole new set of challenges. Often our children have imagined a “perfect” college experience and when it doesn’t happen, they can become disillusioned and stressed.

As parents/guardians it is natural to want to minimize the stress and anxiety that comes with new school year transitions. Below, SPTS Clinical Director Susan Tellone, MSN, shares some tips that we can share to help kids cope or manage the changes and adjustments they experience during these transitions:

1) Deal with anxiety

Transitions bring with them some fear of the unknown, which can make many of us feel very anxious. A helpful strategy can be to relabel that anxious feeling as excitement. When you rename anxiety as excitement you focus on the positive aspects of anticipation while excluding the fears that lead to sleepless nights! Ask your child what they imagine about the transition they are facing. Sometimes when children are worried about things, they imagine the worst. Ask them to picture themselves arriving at their new school, happy, confident and ready for a great new beginning. Encourage your child to use their imagination in a positive way!

2) Allow time and space to talk about feelings

As the transition approaches it is important to allow your child to talk about their feelings. Freshman, for example, may look forward to high school with anticipation, but may also be sad about leaving their old school, teachers, and building. Even youth going off to college may feel some sadness at leaving their high school years behind. Talking and validating these feelings can be helpful. Explain that feeling sad about a change only means your previous experience was good. Point out to your child that they can use that previous experience to create a calm sense that things will go well again. If their previous experience was not good, they can look at this transition as a new start with the chance to have things go better in the future. If your child doesn’t like to talk about feelings, give them the opportunity to explore feelings through art, writing, music, journaling or play.

3) Be prepared

Any time you can tour a school with your child and give them a sense of how to navigate a strange environment, you will calm your nerves and theirs. Show you child where they need to go if they feel they need help during school hours and identify key faculty in the school. If it is a college campus, make sure they know where the student health center is as well as the school counseling center. Remember mental health is as important as physical health!

The SPTS website has many resources designed to prepare parents to handle tough issues like this with their kids. Take time to familiarize yourself with the warning signs of suicide and know what resources are available to you in your community!

4) Create routines – and stick to them

Getting in the habit of doing the same thing at bedtime and keeping to a schedule can help with sleep patterns. It is important to turn off all social media at bedtime. If possible, remove phones and devices that will tempt your child to stay up too late. In the morning, waking-up at the same time, having clothes laid out and eating breakfast are excellent ways to establish a routine and decrease the hectic pace of the morning. It is also helpful to give children count down times. For example: “We need to leave in 20 minutes, 10 minutes now until we have to leave.” This can help them organize their morning timelines more effectively.

5) Encourage Friendships

Friends can make a difference. Most kids need to be around other kids to feel connected. Children don’t need a lot of friends, but a connection to another child is very important and decreases feelings of being alone or misunderstood. Children also need to feel connected to their parents. If they are young, spending time cuddling with them for five minutes in the morning and at bedtime can be very reassuring. Older children need time with you as well! Make sure you are checking in with them and giving them the opportunity to talk about their day and the things that went well as much as the things that may have been upsetting. This includes checking in with your freshman in college, even if it is only in a text message. Let your kids know you are there for them!

6) Get involved – and stay involved

When your child is starting a new school, help them navigate the culture of that school. Ask teachers, coaches, and counselors what groups or activities the school offers that could help your child transition more easily. What does the school do to welcome a new student? Is there a buddy system? Speak with the teachers to follow-up after the initial transition to see what they are observing in the classroom; does it differ from what you are seeing at home? Create a dialogue with the teachers and begin to work as a team in the best interest of your child.

7) Remember the importance of your home environment

Lead by example – your children look to you as their role models. They will model your sleep patterns, eating patterns and the way you cope with stress. Create healthy patterns of behavior that work for the entire family, for example, sleeping at least 8 or more hours a day, eating three well balanced meals or starting the day with exercise, meditation, or music. Effective time management is one of the easiest ways to reduce morning stress in the home. If you are yelling and rushing your child out the door, they will arrive at school with a higher level of stress that can affect their performance all day. Also remember that being on time after school for pick-up can alleviate another level of anxiety. Being where you said you would be – on time – gives your child a sense of reassurance that they can count on you to have their back.

8) Encourage self-confidence

As parents and guardians, we spend much of our time telling our children how special they are. As much as children need our love, support and praise, they also need to learn to feel good about themselves because of what they think of their talents and achievements. Self-confidence comes from intrinsic factors – what we think about ourselves – as much as what other people think about us (called extrinsic factors). Always ask your child what they think of what they’ve done, their favorite part of their art project, for example. Getting a child to think positively of themselves builds self-awareness and confidence. Allow them to explore their passions and interests with no judgement. For the first days of school, let them pick out the outfits that they feel good in. You may need to interject a bit of parental guidance, however, to make sure they are going in clean and well-groomed, ready to face the day! First impressions do count!

9) Remember: You are not alone!

Sometimes we get so worried about our child’s own situations we forget that others are in the same position. All freshmen in high school are new, and all freshman in college are new to the campus. Point out to your child that almost everybody, including the teachers, is feeling some anxiety about this new beginning. This helps remind both you and your child that you’re in good company!!! Just look next to you!

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Don’t forget, change is a part of life. It is important to remember that we don’t learn all of our lessons in school. We learn the most important lessons in life as we live through them. Try to think positive and not see change as a big scary thing but more as a part of life. Communicate to your child, whenever you can, that the only thing we can guarantee in life is change so it’s important to learn how to cope with it.

So, at the end of the day, keeping your thinking positive can change anxiety into excitement and increase your child’s resiliency to change. Try and stay aware of both your feelings and your child’s in the beginning and notice how they change after a few weeks. Note the progress! Point out to your children how things are improving and acknowledge how proud you are of them. The more we practice change the better we become at it!

If you feel, however, like your child is not progressing and working through the changes of transition, look for professional help.

Available Resources:

Crisis Text Line

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: It’s Real College Students and Mental Health

The Trevor Project

Set to Go: Resources for High School to College Transitions

2nd Floor Youth Helpline (New Jersey Residents Only)

The Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide is a non-profit community organization dedicated to increasing awareness and reducing the stigma of suicide through specialized training programs and outreach resources that empower teens, parents and educational leaders with the guidance and skills needed to help those at risk of suicide and build a life of resiliency.

732-410-7900 | www.sptsusa.org | #saveteens | #youarenotalone

As always, your comments or questions are welcome.

Regards,

Jeffrey M. Hunt, LCADC, LPC

Student Assistance Coordinator

Municipal Alliance Chairperson

Voorhees High School

(908) 638-2175